I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
