My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
