Only a mothe r could love this liver
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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