I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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