babies were throwing up all over the place
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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