My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
