So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
