Nicole vs. Life
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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