Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
