I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
