When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
