She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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