I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
