If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
