pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
