its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
