Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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