woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize