YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
