Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
