she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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