I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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