Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
