I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
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I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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