It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
