i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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