There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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