Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
