Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
