I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
