Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just want nice things and good sex
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
