Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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