I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
