You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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