i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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