the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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