He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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