remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
