And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You can't special order awesome
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
