You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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