You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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