but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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