so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
