At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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