So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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