His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊