one two three fourrrrnication!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?