At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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