Texts From Last Night

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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".

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  (785): Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets". http://tfl.nu/227d
  Replies (16) Good night (1235) Bad night (4565)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?

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  (919): is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people? http://tfl.nu/ymsz
  Replies (14) Good night (3722) Bad night (1768)
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  (716): View more from New York

  So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.

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  (716): So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building. http://tfl.nu/resy
  Replies (7) Good night (3817) Bad night (1590)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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  (757): i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas http://tfl.nu/kf1k
  Replies (13) Good night (3169) Bad night (1056)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

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  (630): you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka http://tfl.nu/av0z
  Replies (8) Good night (1579) Bad night (2356)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.

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  (720): I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony. http://tfl.nu/wqpi
  Replies (15) Good night (2629) Bad night (1165)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.

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  (901): Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking. http://tfl.nu/5z7b
  Replies (11) Good night (1422) Bad night (1007)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.

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  (781): Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants. http://tfl.nu/zvak
  Replies (3) Good night (1093) Bad night (439)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"

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  (318): Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch" http://tfl.nu/gqk6
  Replies (3) Good night (1323) Bad night (641)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.

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  (785): I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie. http://tfl.nu/su8u
  Replies (6) Good night (1365) Bad night (547)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.

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  (306): This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks. http://tfl.nu/6laj
  Replies (4) Good night (1852) Bad night (469)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick

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  (516): I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick http://tfl.nu/9fbv
  Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (326)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?

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  (603): What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway? http://tfl.nu/5x4t
  Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"

  (1-931): View more from Tennessee

  I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him

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  (931): ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes" (1-931): I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him http://tfl.nu/quo2
  Replies (0) Good night (643) Bad night (332)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.

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  (805): I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you. http://tfl.nu/8wct
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (336)

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