shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
