hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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