please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its about making memories worth repressing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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