Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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