Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
