Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
