dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize